If You Give an Audrey an Orgasm, She’s Going to Explode her Diva Cup


A performance lecture, in which I tell the story of my journey to “sexual awakening” and overcoming repression, in the third person, for your laughter and enjoyment.

Performed at Muchmore’s in Brooklyn (Maude Night 3), October 19, 2016
Just a few of the many faces I make over the course of the story:

14610868_1849403775288014_1599071991683426797_n Photo credit: Lily Galib


…and he was the perfect boy—deep, handsome, intense … more ~experienced~ than her…. Let’s call him Understanding Boy. Because Understanding Boy was the sort of person who, after they’d been dating a couple weeks, would tell her how lucky she was to have someone so ~understanding~ that she wanted to “take things slow”—while taking her hand and placing it on his crotch so she could understand fully just how understanding he was being. Or who, when she was so ~understanding~ of how ~understanding~ he was being, would push her to let him start to do all the things Understanding Boys get rewarded for—well, almost all the things. That thing still wouldn’t happen for a very long time.

The point is, that’s how Audrey ended up here: in her childhood bedroom with her mom out of town, kind of unsure if she wanted to but really sure that she wanted to want to, ready for Understanding Boy to give her: an orgasm!